I hate you, thunders, lightening and raindrops, just for today. You ruined my turning point and everything more meaningful to me, you know? I know that you don't. You didn't mean to upset me. But you don't know how much harm you have done to me. Then, how could I forgive you?

Yes, I waited for long, and will wait until midnight has gone far and when I'm utterly brain damaged and heart dead. What a wrong sentence!

Rain. Ruin.

Maybe I have done something awful, so heaven wants to punish me by letting the evil weather attack me. But what is it? Am I really that  wicked? Another beautiful word that I'm using.

I don't know whether I'll be given the chance to pick up my bittersweet memories. No prayer will work. It seems that I begin to believe in that uncertain thing called fate, though unwilling to but can't help being addicted in it cos it seems the only thing that can explain my life and minds. Then why, why do I feel guilty for no reason? Why should I be just so cruelly treated? Who knows?

I know my writings in English, even in my mother language, is always in chaos. My thought is just twisting and running but even I myself can't express it to the most accurate level.

And I admit that today is not a good day for me, and maybe for someone else, too, I  suppose.