Now I'm determined that this blog will be my only blog written all in English. It's just like fate. Something strange and mysterious has decided the thing, you just follow your feeling, and no one can ever change or stop it. And so I'll be busy reproduce those articles written in other millions of blogs back here and translate some essential ones. I'll keep this blog as a true and valuable memory of my life and past time so I'll do it very carefully.
I still want to translate part of my blog written just now into English here. Because the content is really really too important to me.
Here it is:
I seem to have done nothing but surfing the net, but still too many things happened. It's very contradictory. This summer holiday is meant to be extraordinary, but it can't reduce my regrets.
It seems that I have no relationship with the capital. I have knocked on her door twice and failed twice as well. The first time she rejected me, and the second time I gave her up as well as the one who means the most to me and entered Beijing, due to some false message. Although I regret a lot, nothing helps. It's such a feeling of destiny. Ironic, funny, miserable and fate with no alternative . Faced with this thing which may change all my life and make me sad all the lifetime, all that I can do is produce a forced smile.
Why there are so many regrets in my life though I have tried so hard to get away?
I'm surprized at my decision and the way I took up the phone with no hesitation. When I described to Paopao I just skipped it with loud laughter. I cannot express my heart then. The desicion as fake as vacuity turned out to be correct. When I saw him later, who was as silent as before, the blank of three years slipped away from my brain. I didn't stammer, but my mind was just like the net cut and relinked, which made my quite upset.
But after all, he didn't disappoint Paopao, and maybe my expectation was too heavy to carry. But I hadn't told Paopao what I hoped he was like. I just said that he was perfect, and she agreed. But the most perfect is also to be ruined. And the feeling of a viewer was just the pain of tearing one's heart.
And I have made one day in the future the chance for us to meet again. Paopao is thinking over making up a letter but I just want to say what I think the very moment with no preparation. Thinking the closest friend before and now the well prepared words, it's just like getting mocked by time again. So I didn't prepare, though uneasy.
If we really can't fight against time, then what left can we do? Wait, give up, get hurt and end?
Hope our friendship never ends.
Posted at 8/2/2007 3:03:36 am by
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